More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Gene Simmons producing Kiss and Hello Kitty mashup for 'My Little Pony' network
  
• Why I Study Duck Genitalia
  
• Slavoj Žižek Discusses Philosophy, Topless in Bed (And So On and So On)
  
• Bizarre Portraits Of Man Holding Dead Animals In His Mouth
  
• Half A Million's Worth Of Rhino Heads Stolen From Ireland's National Museum
  

On the other hand, a couple of articles that had to read:

• ‘Kim Jong-un's Less Responsible, Disney-Obsessed Older Brother
  
• Durex Unveils New iPhone-Controlled Vibrating Underwear For Couples
  
• Super Horrific Brazilian Thing: Tattooing Your Eyeballs Black
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Sarah Palin’s Writing A Book About Christmas
  
• Charlie Sheen Just Told 9 Million People To Throw Dog Shit At His Daughter’s School
  
• Justin Bieber’s Hamster Is Dead
  
• Recreate Original McDonald’s Menu Items at Home
  
• ‘Atlas Shrugged Part 3′ Greenlit, Hitting Theaters Summer 2014
  
  

On the other hand, a couple of articles that had to read:

• ‘World’s First’ Gender-Based Breakfast Cereal, Improves Sexual Performance
  
• Nic Cage's Face On All 151 1st Generation Pokemon
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• George W. Bush's Art Teacher Says He's Painted 50 Dogs
  
• Ten Bizarre Tales of Taxidermy
  
• Semen Raises Its Profile
  
• Air Freshener Made From Cow Dung
  
• The ‘World’s First’ Underwear For Your Smartphone
  
• A few words about love, from everyone’s favorite hopeless romantic, Ayn Rand
  

On the other hand, a couple of articles that had to read:

• Here's How Much Bacon and Sausage You Can Eat Without Getting Cancer
  
• Mom Confesses to LEGO Spill That Shut Down I-79 in West Virginia
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Knowing You Are Closer To Death Makes You Happy
  
• What's In Your Colon?
  
• The Retired Man's Guide to Snow Removal
  
• Can You Eat Your Own Poop?
  
• French lazy, says U.S. CEO
  
• Tiffani Thiessen: I Don't Think 'Saved by the Bell' Will Ever Die!
  

On the other hand, a single article that had to read:

• What We Can Learn from 10,000 Porn Stars
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• London mayor praises horse meat
  
• How Much Does Darth Vader Weigh?
  
• Musician Chubby Checker sues HP and Palm over penis-measurement app
  
• Screaming Goats
  
• Chester Arthur's New York Apartment turned into an Indian Grocery Store
  
  
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Cops Chase Doughnut Truck
  
• Babymetal: The cutest lil’ teenage J-Pop death metal group in Japan!
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Obsessive nose picking is called rhinotillexomania.
  
• It's time for another Knit & Crochet Night!
  
• How To Give Birth To A Rabbit
  
• Christian Post Blogger Who Wrote About 'Leaving Homosexuality' Found Cruising for Dudes on Grindr
  
• Love in Amish Country
  
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Presidents Become Monsters in Action Figure Line
  
• Women May Now Legally Wear Pants in Paris
  
• French Philosopher Jean Baudrillard Reads His Poetry, Backed By All-Star Arts Band (1996)
  
• ‘Atlas Shrugged’ jewelry: Show your sweetie you care (about yourself) this Valentine’s Day
  
• Modern Churches That Look Like Chickens
  
• Squids That Can Fly 100 Feet through the Air
  
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Arnold Schwazenegger Still In Love With Maria, Hopes For Reconciliation
  
• Adam Sandler to Guard the Galaxy?
  
• French Gourmet Restaurant Serves Up Full-Course Meal Made Of Dirt
  
• Cannibal Cop's Online Friend Bragged of Eating a 'Black Woman and a White Child' and 'Roasting Whole Pelvises'
  
• Horse Burgers About As Healthy As Regular Burgers
  
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Mad Scientist Seeks Lady To Give Birth To Neanderthal Monster
  
• France Smells Like Frenchman
  
• Member of Royal Family does something worthwhile
  
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Who Wants To Read 120,000 Pages Of Boy Scout Sex Abuse Documents?
  
• Skrillex Accidentally Sets Hair on Fire
  
• Modeling Agency Specializes in Ugly People
  
• When Humanities Professors Watch Sex And The City
  
• How To Be Swedish
  
• Farts: A Spotter's Guide
  
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Audio: Samuel L. Jackson Sings Taylor Swift’s ‘We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together’
  
• House Republicans Meet at a Former Slave Plantation to Practice Talking to Black People
  
• Cross-Dressing, Show-Tunes-Loving Connecticut Priest Busted for Selling Meth and Laundering Money Through His Sex Shop
  
  
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Cobra Sculpted out of 800 Pounds of Frozen Cow Dung
  
• Report: Ann Romney says no to ‘Dancing With the Stars’
  
• Glenn Beck’s ‘visionary’ two-billion dollar Ayn Rand-inspired survivalist amusement park commune!
  
• Housing Super Gets 6 Years for Sex with Tenants' Dog (via @ktmenick)
  
• Toilet Talk, Part 2
  
• Metallica Set Release Date for 3-D Film
  
• 38 Weird Varieties of Poutine
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Pimpkachu [Pic]
  
• Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a Trekkie!
  
• Short Penis No Obstacle for 'Spermcasting' Barnacles
  

More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Tolkien family not impressed with Peter Jackson
  
• Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie
  
• Justin Timberlake to finally release new music?
  
• iPotty Aims To Entertain Toddlers During Toilet Training
  
• Waste Cooking: A Reality TV Show about Cooking Food Found in Trash Cans
  
• WHY YOU SHOULD LEARN WELSH
  
• Henry Kissinger picks his nose…
  
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Kooky Christian ‘prophet’ Cindy Jacobs says God supernaturally multiplied her spaghetti
  
• Topless Protesters, Tortured by KGB, Plan World Domination
  
• Smurfs Arrested for Assault
  

More articles we didn't finish reading

The internet never fails to provide material that need not be provided. These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

• Photographer Captures Owners Wearing Sweaters Made From Their Dogs’ Fur
  
• ‘The Ladies of Manure 2013 Calendar’ hopes to make composting sexy… fails
  
• Slavoj Žižek Demystifies the Gangnam Style Phenomenon
  
• Karaoke singer gets dunked in a tank of snakes
  
• Richard Nixon eBooks Available for the First Time
  
  

On the other hand, articles that have to read: One-armed man arrested in Belarus for clapping, Al Roker Sharted In The White House, and Official Reprimand for Flatulence.

More articles we didn't finish reading

The internet never fails to provide material that need not be provided. These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

• This Is the Best Soda Drinking Simulator You’ll Play All Week
  
• Meet Larry, the Vomiting Robot
  
• THE RISE & FALL OF GOD PART 3
  
• Why can't Kate Winslet stop getting married?
  
• Germans Still Weird
  

On the other hand, articles that have to read: Cat Caught Smuggling Contraband Into Brazilian Prison (via @ktmenick), and Sigourney Weaver Explains What Not to Do With a Hedgehog.

More articles we didn't finish reading

The internet never fails to provide material that need not be provided. These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

• Man Cuddles With Pythons To Celebrate The New Year
  
• Getting a Vasectomy Has Never Been Easier!
  
• How much does it cost for Malcolm McDowell to go to the toilet?: A rare interview from 1976
  
• Did Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie secretly marry on Christmas Day?
  
• A Wine Made From Feces Gets Good Reviews From Unsuspecting Tasters
  

On the other hand, I had no choice but to read Oompa-Loompas Sought in Assault Case and Blood Found in a Dried Squash Belongs to Louis XVI.

More articles we didn't finish reading

The internet never fails to provide material that need not be provided. These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

• Slavoj Žižek Finally Weighs in on Santa Claus
  
• Chamberpots: A Resurgence?
  
• The Inuit Sport of Ear Pulling
  
• Conditioner Gordon Added to the Batman Shampoo Series
  
• How many frozen poodles can fit in a hallway linen closet?
  
  

More articles we didn't finish reading

The internet never fails to provide material that need not be provided. These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

• Scientology and Me
  
• Elephant-Poop Coffee Goes for $50 a Cup
  
• Scrotum-Shaped Christmas Ornaments?
  
• Joe Lieberman’s Farewell Speech
  
• The $5,000 Toilet that You Control with Your Smartphone
  
• Willow on Blu-ray: Finally, the Fish-Boy Deleted Scenes!
  
• Take Our Breath Away...Please! The Top 5 'Top Gun' Scenes We Can't Wait To See In 3D
  
  

More articles we didn't finish reading

The internet never fails to provide material that need not be provided. These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

• Cheese Made From Armpit Bacteria?
  
• Eat Dessert On Plates Featuring Real Human Tissues
  
• Martin Van Buren Had a Really Nice Toilet
  
• A Denny's in Las Vegas Has a Built-in Wedding Chapel
  
• Mattel Releases ‘Twilight’ Bella And Edward Barbie Dolls
  
• Can You Catch Live Fish For Dinner At Your Wal-Mart?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• Between Facebook and Sex, Facebook Wins
  
• You Can Now Buy Soil from Justin Bieber's Hometown
  
• Kardashian Christmas card: Learn the Photoshop secrets
  
• Yoko Ono's Fashions for Men
  
• Mailing Service Lets Customers Send Stinky Farts By Mail
  
• Smell Delicious With Bacon Shaving Cream
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• Man ordered not to throw horseshit at Prince Charles
  
• EXCLUSIVE: David Petraeus Affair Photos
  
• Disney's 'Big Thunder Mountain' to Be Adapted for TV
  
• Kristen Stewart on 'New Moon': 'I wish I was better'
  
• Watch Live: The First ‘Friskies’ Awards for Internet Cat Videos
  
• Mick Jagger goes to the beach in astro-pervert hot pants, 1973
  
• The Gentleman’s Guide to Amputation
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• George Lucas says he plans ‘little personal films’ in future
  
• Cold sore-themed cupcakes
  
• Britney Spears in talks to pen a novel based on her adventures
  
• In Defense of Stink
  
• Fungus as a Building Material
  
• Jimi Hendrix Clothing Line Coming to Bloomingdale's
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Princess Dresses at Disney World
  
• Rod Stewart Was Never a Gravedigger
  
• ‘Trekkie Dating’ Site Is Pretty Much Exactly Like It Sounds
  
• Watch Michele Bachmann Flee From a Person With Disabilities Who Wants To Interview Her
  
• The Late Movies: Watch 6 Full Episodes of The Smurfs
  
• 10 Reasons Why Speed Racer Is an Unsung Masterpiece
  
• Can Sex Help Sell Coffins?