More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Who Wants To Read 120,000 Pages Of Boy Scout Sex Abuse Documents?
  
• Skrillex Accidentally Sets Hair on Fire
  
• Modeling Agency Specializes in Ugly People
  
• When Humanities Professors Watch Sex And The City
  
• How To Be Swedish
  
• Farts: A Spotter's Guide
  
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Audio: Samuel L. Jackson Sings Taylor Swift’s ‘We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together’
  
• House Republicans Meet at a Former Slave Plantation to Practice Talking to Black People
  
• Cross-Dressing, Show-Tunes-Loving Connecticut Priest Busted for Selling Meth and Laundering Money Through His Sex Shop