More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Tolkien family not impressed with Peter Jackson
  
• Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie
  
• Justin Timberlake to finally release new music?
  
• iPotty Aims To Entertain Toddlers During Toilet Training
  
• Waste Cooking: A Reality TV Show about Cooking Food Found in Trash Cans
  
• WHY YOU SHOULD LEARN WELSH
  
• Henry Kissinger picks his nose…
  
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Kooky Christian ‘prophet’ Cindy Jacobs says God supernaturally multiplied her spaghetti
  
• Topless Protesters, Tortured by KGB, Plan World Domination
  
• Smurfs Arrested for Assault