Schedule for Lincoln-Douglas Debate
(Schedules for Legislative Debate, Public Forum Debate, Policy Debate, Humorous Interpretation Debate, Duo Interpretation Debate, and anything else you can put the word Debate after, are somewhere else, but you didn't care anyhow.)
Friday, October 19, 2012
6:00 AM — Wake up to Justin Bieber on clock radio alarm and realize that there’s another &$@*# tournament this weekend. Throw clock radio out the window, but still hear music, then realize that in fact you were sleeping with Justin Bieber, who is now propped up on his pillows strumming a ukulele. Pop out of bed immediately and hate yourself for the rest of your life.
11:30 AM – 1:00 PM — Registration (in-person registration is required; no masks, please, and leave the Beeb at home)
1:30 PM — Opening Remarks and Ceremony, including the Induction of New Hall of Foam Programs, Presentation of the Goombah of the Year Award, and Presentation of the Bronx Underachievement Awards. As this is just the first of many award ceremonies, moaning loudly throughout is mandatory. Please note that this year there will NOT be an award ceremony after every round. There will, however, be an award ceremony in every room DURING every round, probably around the 1AR in each flight. Extra time will be added to this speech to account for the interruption.
3:15 PM — The Anyone Who Works for the Bronx Now Gets to Pretend They Went There Round (double-flighted)
5:15 PM — The Our Bus is on the Wrong Side of the Hudson But We’ll be There by the Second Round (double-flighted)
6:00 PM — The Ilene Dunay Foods of the World, Unite! (You have nothing to lose but your lunch) Dinner Break
8:00 PM — The Bronx Benny NSFW Round (private joke—pun intended—double-flighted)
Students being housed by host families on Friday night will be picked up in the East Gym following Round III. Housing families will drive into the gym through the north entrance; we ask that students keep a weather eye pealed so as not to be run down by an SUV in front of the concession stand.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
8:00 AM — The Things Were a Lot Easier Back Before We Got this Bloody Octas Bid Round (double-flighted)
11:15 — The Coachean Life Tribute Bathroom Break. Debaters must wash hands after using. Judges must wash everything else.
11:00 AM — The Roman Numerals Were on the Real Schedule if You Weren’t Sure of the Level of Pretentiousness Round (double-flighted)
2:00 PM — The What? Another Round? Round (double-flighted)
5:00 PM — The Holy Mother of Pearl, Yet Another Round Round (double-flighted)
7:15 PM — Presentation of Superior Speaker Awards (the phrase Superior Speaker Awards is funnier than anything I could come up with) in Lincoln-Douglas Debate and of the Peter Colavito Award
Students who were housed Friday night who actually came back on Saturday morning will no doubt prefer to hide in the basement until the threat of housing again is over. Postings for the elimination rounds will be available online at Tabroom.com on Saturday night, but only if Menick gets a decent meal somewhere, otherwise he’ll just grouch and post some stupid joke thing, because let’s face it, everybody already knows how they’re doing so what’s the big mystery?
Sunday, October 21, 2012
8:00 AM — Snooze-off Round (if necessary)
9:15 AM — Sext Your Decimo Round (double-flighted and highly illegal)
11:30 AM — The "This Space Vacant" Round, to be named after the most important debate dignitary to show up for the weekend
1:00 PM — The What Happened to Lunch? Round
2:15 PM — The Will the Eponymous Matt Dunay be Struck Again From the Semifinal Debates
3:30 PM — The Hee-Sun Hong Championship Debate and Chowder Tasting
immediately followed by the Presentation of Richard B. Sodikow to the winning debater
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