Chetan Hertzig has been running his Six Rounds of Spring RR for years now. First it was up in Massachusetts, then in NYC, and now it’s just down the road at Harrison High School. Last year was the second time I went, but I’ve been sending students since forever. Of course, from my point of view, it’s one of my few annual judging events. I can imagine that the students at the other side of the room are just thrilled to see me. My speed abilities get pretty rusty from underuse, for one thing. I’m not terribly against speed, as members of the VCA know, but speed needs to be calibrated correctly for the judges. If they can blaze, blaze away. If they can’t, slow down. Simple enough, and it has ever been so. LD speed wasn’t invented last year, you know. But to flow speed you need to do it often, and I don’t. I’m still poking away on a legal pad because the few times I’ve tried to flow on a computer I’ve not done well with it; again, more experience would probably solve that, but more experience is not forthcoming. I’ve long ago disappeared into the tab room, where my speed and accuracy is fairly decent. I’ll continue doing what I do. Considering the number of coaches who’ve been around as long as I have who neither judge nor tab and who spend entire weekends contemplating their team’s navels, I’m not exactly totally ready for the dustbin. When I am, I’m sure the Sailors will toss me there.
By the way, if you’re supposed to be judging at a tournament and I give you a ballot, the correct response is, “Thank you for giving me something to do for the next hour and a half,” not, “You’re going to make me judge again, you illegitimate offspring of a one-legged goat?” How would you like it if I took a round off? “I’m not going to pair round four,” says I. “I’m too tired from pairing round three.”
Jeesh.
As I was driving around last week something called The Sailor Song by a group called Toy-Box came up on my iPod. I’d never heard it before (I’ve got a lot of music on my iPod that I’ve never heard before, and even more that the Sailors hope they’ll never hear again). It turns out that somewhere in my travels I had ripped an album of Danish pop songs. Whatever. Anyhow, in my mind this has now become our team song. I recommend you watch the video on YouTube, and you will see why. Keep in mind that I am not saying that I think this song is good, although I cannot get it out of my head. It is more…unforgettable. So is the video. You won’t thank me for this, but henceforth, whenever the Sailors appear in force, we will be singing this song. Look on my debaters, ye mighty, and despair.
I’ve also managed to get JV addicted to Charmed, an app from hell that is, in a word, hard to put down. It’s of the old match-three variety, but you can turn the Touch in any direction and gravity kicks in… I recommend it to you, too. You can load your own background music, so you can play it while listening to The Sailor Song. Do I have your best interests in mind or what?
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