(Washington, DC) President Barack Obama, taking time off from screwing up health care and turning the US into a communist soviet satellite, announced today that he is escalating the war on Babycakes started by his predecessor, George W. ("Waterboard") Bush. "The threat of Babycakes is the number one problem facing our nation today," Obama stated. "That and, maybe, the addition of Ellen deGeneres to the panel of American Idol."
The Department of Homeland Security immediately raised the Babycakes alert level from penuche to chocolate. Citizens were warned that the hording of tart fillings would be considered a federal offense.
"The idea that Babycakes could invade American borders is what scares me more than anything," claimed noted Stuyvesant High School debate coach Jon Cruz. "It was bad enough when all I had to worry about was my mother invading my Facebook page. And now this!"
Cruz's mother was unavailable for comment.
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