My adventures in instant messaging

I post this correspondence thread as it occurred.

“Yo, that’s a little cold, Menick. I mean, why would you attack poor Vassar? They’re just trying to throw a tournament. You should support them. Have you no sense of noblesse oblige or eminence grise?”
N

“I have nothing against Vassar, which you know perfectly well. I love Vassar. My daughter almost thought of applying there! My point is not that Vassar is having a tournament, but that VMI is covering it moment-by-moment. While they’re also covering tournaments in Texas, Guam and Nova Zembla.”
M

“So what’s wrong with that? The world wants to know, eh? They’re providing a service. They’re like a gas station open all night, and debaters are like cars that are about to run out of gas on lonely roads in the middle of nowhere.”
N

“The legendary Nostumite way with a metaphor… Anyhow, who died and made me eminence grise, anyhow?”
M

“You’re putting me into a state of permanent depression. You have POWER, for God’s sake. The power of experience. People look up to you. Well, maybe they don’t look up to you, but they look at you as being old and wise. Well, maybe not wise, but old, anyhow. You’re probably the oldest person associated with debate on the East Coast now that Sodikow’s retired. You should act the part.”
N

“The part of Sodikow?”
M

“The part of wise and productive old age, you randy fart.”
N

“When you start referring to me as a randy fart I think we have crossed the line!”
M

“All I’m saying is that you should be kinder and gentler. It won’t kill you.”
N

“You’v done your own share of taking pot shots at GTA.”
M

“But I’m like Claire’s b.f. I speak from a position of anonymity commingled with lofty intentions.”
N

“This has nothing to do with either Phaeton or lofty intentions. I’m simply making a satirical comment that perhaps DNC is taking itself a little too seriously, and that maybe 24 by 7 is, perhaps, 20 by 5 too much.”
M

“Let's cut to the chase. Are you going to let up on the poor yabbos?”
N

“Does the pope wave out of windows?”
M

At which point my cable service went down.