I have apparently struck a nerve

People could just comment on posts. But, oh not, not this guy.

I reprint his email in its entirety.

Dear Mr. Menick:

You do not know me. My name is Herman Melville (no relation), and I’m writing you unofficially from VBD headquarters, where I’ve just been hired as a cub reporter. My first assignment here has been to go through the morgue (that’s a journalism term that means old crap) and look up you and your blog and your relationship with our operation.

It is not a pretty picture.

I think you do a serious disservice to our operation. When I was hired and flown into headquarters, I have to admit that even I was surprised by the scope of the VBD empire. The campus here is a marvel to behold. After you get past the guards you drive up a long winding road to a fabulous building that I understand was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright in between the Guggenheim and the Johnson Wax headquarters. It’s called Passing Winds, and it’s simply phenomenal, aside from the leaks. It’s pure prairie, long and flat and built into the mountainside. The photographs do not do it justice.

I was met at the receptionist’s desk by a woman named Morgana, who is the head of the VBD intern program, which handles all the cub reporters, among other new hires. She told me that I would join this year’s contingent of ten new journalism interns, for what she knew was another great career at VBD. She then proceeded to outline the outstanding benefits package. The pension plan has become the model that many forward-thinking media corporations have recently begun emulating, including Google and Fox News. “Stay with us for forty years,” Ms. Morgana said, “and you’ll retire a rich man.”

When I finally joined up with the other interns, each of us with our “New Employee Guide” binder and our freshly minted ID cards in lanyards around our necks, we were taken on a tour of the premises. We were driven in one of the corporation’s new environmentally beneficial electric jitneys to each of the main divisions of the place. Some of them were within the main building, while some were spread over the grounds. (R&D, for instance, has a completely separate facility due to its hazmat needs.) Mr. Menick, even you would have been impressed! From the stables to the main factory to the administration building to the new VeebeeDome Stadium, it is one of the most spectacular capitalist enterprises you can imagine. And when construction is complete on VeeBee One, and the tallest building in the world is back on US soil, I have to believe that you will agree that you have been maligning us.

But as I say, I am merely a cub reporter here. And this letter bears no official weight. But if you were to come out to Euphoria yourself, if you could see what I see, if you could watch as thousands of our dedicated employees put their collective pedals to their collective forensic metal, I think you would change your tune. I would be happy to act as your guide and escort. Just say the word.

Sincerely,

Herman Melville
Cub Reporter
VBD
Euphoria, ND

P.S. If you can arrange a trip for the weekend of 4/16, you would be on hand for the launching of VBStat, our latest news satellite. I am told that the satellite launches are big party events not only for the corporation but for all the surrounding countryside. You wouldn’t want to miss that!