More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Sarah Palin’s Writing A Book About Christmas
  
• Charlie Sheen Just Told 9 Million People To Throw Dog Shit At His Daughter’s School
  
• Justin Bieber’s Hamster Is Dead
  
• Recreate Original McDonald’s Menu Items at Home
  
• ‘Atlas Shrugged Part 3′ Greenlit, Hitting Theaters Summer 2014
  
  

On the other hand, a couple of articles that had to read:

• ‘World’s First’ Gender-Based Breakfast Cereal, Improves Sexual Performance
  
• Nic Cage's Face On All 151 1st Generation Pokemon