More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• George W. Bush's Art Teacher Says He's Painted 50 Dogs
  
• Ten Bizarre Tales of Taxidermy
  
• Semen Raises Its Profile
  
• Air Freshener Made From Cow Dung
  
• The ‘World’s First’ Underwear For Your Smartphone
  
• A few words about love, from everyone’s favorite hopeless romantic, Ayn Rand
  

On the other hand, a couple of articles that had to read:

• Here's How Much Bacon and Sausage You Can Eat Without Getting Cancer
  
• Mom Confesses to LEGO Spill That Shut Down I-79 in West Virginia