More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed to here without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• VH1 cancels ‘Ev and Ocho’ after Ocho arrested for allegedly attacking Ev
  
  
• Where Soccer Moms and Hookers Come Together
  
  
• Devo to Release Song About Mitt Romney's Dog
  
  
• Man Shoots Self In Ass In Movie Theater
  
  
• James Franco’s Making A Movie About Lindsay Lohan And James Franco
  
  
• Bill Gates Hosts Fair to Reinvent the Toilet [PICS]