More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed to here without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• When I Grow Up I Want to be a Porn Star!
  
  
• The 5 Best (and 5 Worst) Collectible Candy Heads
  
  
• What Will the Fashion World Do With Kim Kardashian?
  
  
• Prepare for Fifty Shades of Grey, the official fashion line
  
  
• King of Plop: Michael Jackson seen in car windshield bird poop