Tim Averill sucks

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I just read his interview on DDT. I mean, the interview was fine, and I like Tim and everything, but I've known this guy for ten years and not once—I repeat, NOT ONCE—have I ever gotten a lobster out of him. Nor a crayfish. Not even a shrimp. Go to his tournament and they feed you chicken soup and albino bagels, while in the back room among the elite apparently it's all lobsters and caviar and Waiter, bring me shad roe. Jeesh. But here's the big question. Averill and I are pretty much the same age. How come he can retire and I can't? It makes you wonder. Of course, my understanding is that most of the northeast is looking forward to a tournament without another Tim Averill Retirement Tribute. We can all finally breathe easy again.

I heard from the Nostrumite last night. He's in a state of permanent depression mourning the death of his PDA. It's an old Handspring that, as he put it, "died and died again." Apparently it winkled out on him, taking all his unsynchronized data with it, and although he thought he had fixed it, it winkled out again a day later, this time beyond any hope of resuscitation. "I didn't really lose much data," he says, "but that little black box has been an old friend to me. I've known it longer than I've known Odelie." It's always a bad sign when a newlywed compares his wife to his Palm Pilot. "The real issue is, what to do about replacing it. Get a new model? Switch to the—AARRGHH—Microsoft platform? Or blow off the whole thing and spend the money on something else I really want?" And then he goes on to ask me if I've looked at those new PSPs yet. Will this guy never grow up? What kind of choice is that, a data machine vs. a PSP? Should I buy a PS2 or a microwave oven? Jeesh. Given that the Mite is up there in Averill country, maybe he should just invest in some lobsters (God knows he isn't going to get any freebies out of the old Timster). Anyhow, he told me he'd posted a new episode of TWHS, so losing the Palm hasn't set him back all that much. I wonder if TW will serve lobsters next year at its tournament. It's worth considering...