Thursday, March 15, 2012

Friendship porn

Why do we watch TV? In a lot of cases, it's to be among some familiar folks, not surrogate families but surrogate friends. There is a comfort to this that is undeniable, and everybody's aware of it. There are all kinds of buddy programs, be they in a work or home environment, that show us all these people who are, at the core of it, friends. Friendships that last for years, if the show is successful (and often a show is successful precisely because of the level of friendship its characters demonstrate).

There is something ethereal about these friendships. I think we watch out of envy; we believe that the fiction we are watching somehow represents someone else's fact. Somewhere, out there, there are all these close-knit friendships, unbreakable no matter what. Other people have them, but not us, and the closest we get is these TV shows.

Alyssa Pelish calls this friendship porn. And she nails it:

Over the multiple episodes and years of a show's existence, the friendship has time to evolve — even to be explored. Even more importantly, I think, is that within the show, and for the viewer, that friendship is always there. It recurs and endures in real time — over the course of years — for the people who are watching at home.... So these shows, within and without, mimic the kind of constancy and stability that we need and want from a relationship.

The article is We Like to Watch: Friendship on TV. Yes, it's about fictional friendships, but raises questions about real friendships as well.

How would one position Facebook friendships in all of this? I'm serious about that, but it's a whole 'nother subject.

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