More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• Man ordered not to throw horseshit at Prince Charles
  
• EXCLUSIVE: David Petraeus Affair Photos
  
• Disney's 'Big Thunder Mountain' to Be Adapted for TV
  
• Kristen Stewart on 'New Moon': 'I wish I was better'
  
• Watch Live: The First ‘Friskies’ Awards for Internet Cat Videos
  
• Mick Jagger goes to the beach in astro-pervert hot pants, 1973
  
• The Gentleman’s Guide to Amputation