More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Princess Dresses at Disney World
  
• Rod Stewart Was Never a Gravedigger
  
• ‘Trekkie Dating’ Site Is Pretty Much Exactly Like It Sounds
  
• Watch Michele Bachmann Flee From a Person With Disabilities Who Wants To Interview Her
  
• The Late Movies: Watch 6 Full Episodes of The Smurfs
  
• 10 Reasons Why Speed Racer Is an Unsung Masterpiece
  
• Can Sex Help Sell Coffins?