More articles we didn't finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing. When we say we didn't read them, we mean it. They didn't exactly pull us in, for some reason...

• SLIDESHOW: Writers in underpants
  
• Crazy Nicolas Cage face makes an excellent wedding anniversary gift
  
• Woman absolutely definitely undeniably gives birth to a horse in Nigeria
  
• Why 'American Idol' is worth watching
  
• Donald Trump Blames Kate Middleton For Her Topless Photos
  
• Scary Movie 5 To Serve Up The Lindsay Lohan-Charlie Sheen Sex Scene You Didn't Ask For
  
• Rihanna Wants To Babysit Snooki’s Baby