Math, continued; Tolstoievsky; the Aughties; coming out

Following up on the math, at Ridge there were exactly 80 people in the field. Thanks to our trusty iDebate app, this meant that if we had five rounds and broke to partial doubles, we could break half the 3-2s. If we went to six rounds and octos (the only viable alternative) we could break 6 out of 19 4-2s. In a word, no contest. The best chance for the most people, going by our down-2 rubric, looked to us like the fewer rounds and more breaks. And that’s exactly what we did. As we have already concluded here, we’re probably best looking at each tournament when we’re there, evaluating all the factors at hand, starting with numbers and then throwing in time, space and monsters from the id, and then making our decision. Since all happy tournaments are alike, while each unhappy tournament is unhappy in its own way, which is how Lev Tolstoy put it in his classic novel, Petersburg High AK, this is probably the best approach.

(Sometimes I feel that Tolstoy jokes just don’t belong here, but then I think, if not here, where? I can’t tell them to O’C in the tab room because he’s always wandered off somewhere. I can’t tell them to the Sailors because they’re committed Dostoevsky fans—it’s that hedgehog and fox thing, I guess. And I can’t tell them around the chez because Tik (pronounced teek) and Pip the Wondercat are in serious withdrawal over the death of the television soap opera, and the last thing they want to hear is Commie Red Russia propaganda, you Pinko! That leaves the DJ, but to tell you the truth, even though we are publishers, we don’t do a lot of Tolstoy anymore. If he were to start writing pop romances, on the other hand, we’d pick him up in a minute. War and Peace? No way. War and the Single Mom, on the other hand? We’d be on it like wet on water.)

Meanwhile, Bietz and O’C want to do the Best of the Decade in the next TVFT, which we’re postponing for a couple of reasons, one of which is, I guess, the two of them figuring out what the best of the decade was. The VCA is well aware that even if I had much interest in the history of debate, I wouldn’t be able to remember it if it happened before last Tuesday. I’m a forward thinker, not a backward thinker. Best Tie at TOC Worn by A Junior Who Went 4-3 just doesn’t interest me (although I gather O’C has three potential candidates for the prize). Best Team of the Decade? Sigh. Fastest Speaking Debater to Pass Out From Hyperventilation in a Doubles Round? Well, maybe that one. Anyhow, it will probably be a good episode with them waxing rhapsodic over the decade that was and me haranguing them for waxing rhapsodic over the decade that was. Whatever.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. O’C came out last week as an unwaveringly full-blooded theremin fan. All weekend in the tabroom he played us, not merely theremin music, but the absolute greatest hits from his vast theremin collection, both audio and video. The only break we got was when he would wander off, at which point we would go back to Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys. “Take Me Back to Tulsa” just isn’t the same on the theremin. Seriously. But then again, what is?