Tuesday, February 16, 2016

In which we assure you that W.C.Field's tombstone does not read, "On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia"

Another Penn is in the history books. And it’s still one of my favorite tournaments.

Driving down relatively early in the afternoon on Friday meant that for the very first time, the traffic was fairly light. I always think of Philadelphia as one of those traffic vortices that are impossible to navigate, but the next thing I knew, I was pulling up to the hotel and some helpful workers were grabbing my car and taking the key and hustling me inside. It happened so fast I almost forgot to grab a hat, a mistake that would have been costly over the ensuing days. Check in took half a sec, because I now have an app that unlocks my doors via iPhone at this brand of hotel. Oh, the wonders of science. (I realize that this would be a better story if I had discovered a headless corpse in my room, but no such luck. You can’t win ‘em all.)

Penn is a crowded tabroom, but a fun one. Kaz and I once again decided on judge calls, this time for PF, while letting the LD divisions go electronic. This worked well, just like it did at the Tiggers. This time Kaz took over the barker duties, since her voice carries better than mine, and she seriously got into it. It is fun to run a room, if you like that sort of thing, and most of us do, or we probably wouldn’t be so involved in public speaking activities. Attendance was strong, and we pushed very few ballots and marked up very few fines. Once people realize that you mean it, they do the right thing. And on my end, I’m getting better at being nice in advance and assuming that everyone will be on their best behavior, rather than cursing their very existence before we even get there. I guess that pays off.

I was surprised and disappointed that the food court was closed for the weekend. Apparently there was some sort of union action, but by whom and for what reason I have no idea. I highly doubt that it had anything to do with the tournament. This meant that the crepe place, which was open, did an even more land office boom business than usual. I think the Penn tournament is to them what Valentine’s Day is to Godiva, with lines out the door. The tab room sent a myrmidon down to secure crepeage for the group in one swell foop. Bananas and walnuts and strawberries and honey… Ahhhhh! Of course, Kaz and I did fit in our annual cheesesteaks at a place not too far from the hub. A little fresh air never hurt anyone. The tournament does have a tradition of offering cheesesteaks delivered to the participants, but Kaz and I are choosy that way.

Everything ran fine, except for one ridiculous glitch, where tabroom wouldn’t assign judges in VLD. I have no idea why. So I’d quickly do it by hand and then we’d all improve on the rankings. That was annoying. Fortunately it wasn’t a humongous field, otherwise we would still be there. But everything pretty much ran on time. There was also some confusion over room assignments, which was my fault, but that was solved quickly and efficiently. Here’s the deal: it’s a debate tournament, and some things are going to go wrong. That’s what the tab room staff is there for. If the software and the wetware all ran perfectly, we could let the computer do everything and order another round of sake mojitos. So when something goes wrong, the ability to stay cool and fix it is the key requirement of a tabber. Since no headless corpses were discovered in the tab room after the tournament ended, I think we all fulfilled that requirement. In fact, the only time I had to stop and count to ten was when the Paginator started complaining long-distance about how we were doing things, while he was up in Cambridge doing other things entirely. Apparently I didn’t publish the brackets quickly enough for his tastes.


Feh!

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