Storm troopers of the NFL

Here’s the problem, or, “Previously on Coachean Life…”

1) LD requires rules.
2) There in fact are rules for LD.
3) The existing rules for LD come from the NFL.
4) For reasons slightly less complex than the genome of the Giant Rat of Sumatra, a large number of people involved in LD are woefully ignorant of, or totally uninterested in, either 1, 2, or 3 (above), or any combination thereof.

We’ve touched on 1, 2, and 3 (above) in varying degrees of detail in recent weeks, but we have not discussed 4 very much. While 1, 2 and 3 (above) rely on either simple logic or manifest facts, 4 is a highly subjective area of analysis that contains multiple threads, some of which are contradictory. One recent contention that I have heard brought forth in a comparable context was that, somehow, Rippin’ is to blame for not enforcing its rules, that it is a body so powerless that its existence is meaningless and therefore easily dismissed. There are a lot of corners that require turning in that concept, and I tend to get lost at around the second one-way sign. NFL is no more or less powerful than it ought to be. True, they do not run every forensics event in the country, and no doubt not every person at every event is a bona fide member of the league, but that is of no consequence. As a comparison, if I decide to head out with some friends and play a casual game of golf, that game is neither run by the USGA nor are any of us members of that organization, but we play by their rules just the same (except when those rules are so obscure that even the USGA can’t figure them out, but that’s another story entirely). The fact that NFL (or USGA) does run some events does not render the events they don’t run somehow rule-free. I can, of course, decide to adjust the rules, in golf, for instance, by dropping a ball at the edge of the woods where the ball was last seen and taking a penalty, whereas the rules state I should have hit a provisional ball. This penalty-drop allows us to finish a game the same week we begin it and, as amateurs, keeps it more fun. Granted, the USGA would frown on this, but all of us in the foursome play by the same rule. There is, after all, fifty cents riding on this match! So, I’m willing to concede that there are situations where an adjustment to the rules is acceptable, but that adjustment both acknowledges the existence of the rules in the first place and is clearly delineated ahead of the game and understood and agreed to by all the players. Source rules need not be absolutely binding, in other words, provided all the players agree to the new rules. That is not unheard of in many games. And how much fun would Monopoly be, after all, if somebody from Milton Bradley broke down the door of my house and arrested me every time I created a kitty of the fine money for the lucky goober who lands on Free Parking?

So I am not willing to blame NFL for not making everyone adhere to its rules. It is illogical for me to expect them to do it, and possibly undesirable. That does not mean, however, that their rules are rendered moot. It simply means that NFL is not a modern-day debate Gestapo breaking into rounds and carrying off novices who fail to uphold a value. (Actually, although there are those who doubt it is so, my personal opinion of the NFL is quite positive: who wouldn’t love an organization that wouldn’t want to have me as one of its organizers? But seriously, I think they do exactly what they’re supposed to do pretty much the way they’re supposed to do it, and I am impressed that present leadership has been addressing the questions of rules and procedures in apparently all its activities.)

Which brings us back to the point where, as I say, number 4 above is complex and is probably, in the end, impossible to pin down. Suffice it to say that it is true, and we must deal with it. And, as I have suggested here, I don’t think it’s the NFL’s job to deal with it; they can keep their theoretical jackbooted thugs back home in Wisconsin. And the rest of us, especially those subject to severe wunnophobia (morbid fear of the Wunn and Only), can breathe easy. There are other solutions, and better solutions, to the problem.

Although I have to admit that the idea of the Wunn and Only storming into rounds and carrying off recalcitrant novices does have a certain charm to it…