In which we discover that less is less (or, actually, fewer is fewer, but that isn't as alluring a headline now, is it?)

I have to admit that the further away I get from running a tournament, the happier I am. I’m also starting to enjoy the idea of reducing the number of college tournaments, which are almost the same for me, since I seldom just tab them. Somebody’s got to be the perceived grownup. Since I’m older than all the other grownups in the activity put together, that tends to be me. And then, of course, I mostly act like a grownup, setting tournaments up and monitoring waitlists and dealing with both gruntled and disgruntled customers. In the aftermaths, people want to send me their late registration checks, although they show a strange reluctance to make them out to cash. Anyhow, perception is reality.

I’m already breathing easier not doing Yale. Granted, there’s a lot of work on those waitlists, but what seems so much nicer is that, aside from the early Byram Hills event, I will now have a big bunch of free weeks in September, which is the best time of year to travel, since everyone else (including, until a few weeks ago, me) is back to school. On the other hand, I have committed to Penn for next year regardless which weekend they conduct it, so that one is locked in. Then again, if it works on the earlier weekend, that would free up Prez weekend; a little holiday in London, maybe? I know I’ll stick with Columbia, too, because they treat the tab staff well and they’re great to work with. At one point we were ready to abandon them after certain unacceptable shenanigans, but their teams going back quite a few years now have been stellar, as have the tournaments, even as they’ve combatted the odd blizzard and whatnot. The Tiggers remain a bit dicey. I don’t ask for much, merely hospitality, but I don’t like to have to ask for it again and again and again from an institution with $23.8 billion dollars in assets (as of 2015). Of course, there’s not much one can do the first weekend of December if one suddenly finds that it has freed up. Christmas shopping? A weekend in Manhattan? Or maybe just stay home and work on my new play, “Burr: The Musical.” All transgender casting. (I’m already counting up my Tony award nominations.)

So, when all is said and done, I might be down to two winter college tournaments next year, plus all the usual regionals and CFLs. I’m starting to get into this whole retirement business. It’s still a lot of work, but not as much as it used to be. Plus no pesky students to worry about.

All right. Now where’s my rocking chair?

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