In which if this is Wednesday, it must be Nostrum

I was always sort of proud of the character names in Nostrum. Coaches were anagrams of philosophers, principals were movie directors, and everyone else was whatever came to mind.

Here's A and B:

Abelard, Tom
The lead debater on Quilty Prep’s LD team. Abelard is a senior, and the team’s topic theorist, the one who divines the real meanings behind the resolutions. His teammates may sneer at his interpretations and choose to follow their own paths, but in the end it is always Tom Abelard who makes it furthest in the elimination rounds, with enough Combat of Conquerors limbs to qualify a small army. But it is not Abelard’s debating skills that set him apart ; it is another quality altogether that makes this short, curly-haired teddy-bearish Quilty student remarkable. Tom Abelard has what can only be described as animal magnetism. He is not the smartest person in the world, nor the nicest, nor the best looking, but the opposite sex is attracted to him like weevils to the cotton bolls.

Andrew Johnson High School

”Home of the Unimpeachable Education” and also home of the Andrew Johnson Reconstruction Memorial and The Little Johnson, the classic debut event for Northeastern debate novices.

Coach: Renate Screeds

Ambrose, Ashley

Nighten Day’s Original Orator is never haphazard, and never less than fully dressed in a pastel lawyer suit, a white silk shirt, a Hermes scarf tied tightly around her throat—and never the same scarf twice—and three inch heels in a color matching her suit. She is always smiling, perhaps not sincerely.

Bisonette Technical

Located in Stockwood in upstate New York, Bisonette (pronounced “Bisonay”) is just beginning to assemble an LD team under the auspices of their new coach.

Coach: Amnea Nutmilk (also the Editor of Metro New York magazine)

Debaters: Chesney Nutmilk; Warner (Worm) Padrewski; Jon Marcellus (Binko); Gloria Fudless (aka Gloria What)

Principal: Val Lewton

Brillig, David

Originally the Duo partner of William Hand, and also his long-time best friend. They are both blue-eyed and blond-haired, and are students at Nighten Day. Their greatest triumph was “Parrots.” David’s solo HI piece is a cut from the film of The Fountainhead.

Brooklyn Behemoth

An all-speech venue.

Coach: Alida Devans

Buglaroni, Grandma

The former Maria Contaglia, she is a small woman, but thick, and her aura of solidity makes her seem larger than she is. Her hair is gray, pulled tight and knotted at the back of her head. She smells of BenGay, which she is constantly rubbing into her sore legs and arms. She wears black—widow’s weeds—the mourning outfit she has worn a la Queen Victoria since the death of her husband, Ham Senior’s father, in 1956.

Buglaroni, Hamlet P., Jr.

The novice LDer from hell. And also from Nighten Day. Thirteen years old, five feet ten inches tall and unable to push the scale over 130 pounds. His favorite cap is red, tightly fitted around his head, and it says nothing, which he considers a major statement. He always wears two pairs of socks. HPB may be the ultimate hero of Nostrum... or maybe not.

Buglaroni, Hamlet P., Sr.

Divorced (from Sharon), father of the Novice from hell, stepson of Grandma Bulgaroni, with distinct ties through his automobile-related businesses to organized crime.

Bunbury, Lav

Lav Bunbury, the Nighten Day Guidance Counselor, is perhaps the school’s most flamboyant administrator. Mostly bald, what hair remains is surfer blond and closely cropped around his ears, and he is perennially deeply tanned. He believes that college visits should be bunched alphabetically.

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As I've been saying, the Ultimate Edition of Series One is almost ready for e-book publication. If you start saving now, you'll be able to afford it immediately, because it's free.