More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Arnold Schwazenegger Still In Love With Maria, Hopes For Reconciliation
  
• Adam Sandler to Guard the Galaxy?
  
• French Gourmet Restaurant Serves Up Full-Course Meal Made Of Dirt
  
• Cannibal Cop's Online Friend Bragged of Eating a 'Black Woman and a White Child' and 'Roasting Whole Pelvises'
  
• Horse Burgers About As Healthy As Regular Burgers
  
  

On the other hand, articles that had to read:

• Mad Scientist Seeks Lady To Give Birth To Neanderthal Monster
  
• France Smells Like Frenchman
  
• Member of Royal Family does something worthwhile