Another movie worth missing

Bad movies may not make for great watching, but writing about bad movies tends to be quite entertaining. We have to admit that it barely registered on us that there was a new Clash of the Titans movie (it's called Wrath of the Titans). We had barely understood why the astonishingly mediocre original Clash had been remade in the first place, must less followed up. We did, like everyone else, hear that great line, "Release the Kraken," bellowed by Ralph Fiennes (or was it Liam Neesen, who like everyone else we always confuse with Ralph Fiennes?), which sort of became a mantra for, well, releasing whatever local krakens we might have lying around. Then again, when it comes to krakens, we're willing to argue at great length that there is no "kuh" sound at the beginning of the word Cthulhu, going by the pronunciation of chthonic, but that's another story entirely.

Meanwhile...

Writer Brian Phillips, taking painkillers to ease the harm caused by his having busted his arm toppling down some stairs, decides to go to the cineplex to see a movie. Wrath of the Titans is his choice:

Perseus (Sam Worthington) would be talking to Zeus (Liam Neeson) about what Hades (Ralph Fiennes) said to Ares (Edgar Ramirez) about Phrygian dating sites, when suddenly Worthington (Perseus) would be snatched up into the air by a two-headed fire-breathing demon-dog (MacBook Pro) and hurled into a marble column (Doric). Beast-swarms of various descriptions kept pouring out of the mouth of Tartarus, right toward me, in 3-D. There were monsters in the depths... They take a lot of damage, these heroes.

I wouldn't necessarily call his article, Atlas Drugged, a movie review, but I would call it great entertainment, way more entertaining, I'm sure, than Wrath of the Titans. Will there be another [Blank] of the Titans? I can't imagine why.
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