If the tab room staff acted like the judges:

We would completely disappear five minutes before the round is scheduled to start, and no one from our team would have a clue to where we are, if, indeed, you can find our team.

We would get the vapors and be way too tired to do any more tabbing, having tabbed all the rounds all day, even when those rounds were single flights separated by an hour break.

We would leave when we decide we are done, regardless of whether the tournament is expecting us to still keep working.

We would almost finish tabbing a round, and then we would leave the tab room so no one knows where to find us and the next round can’t start until they do.

We would have to take a conference call for half an hour instead of getting out the next round.

We would be in high dudgeon over the lack of cigarette breaks.

We would log into tabroom, erase our login data, and then complain that tabroom isn’t working correctly.

We would not bring any electronic devices to the tournament, and expect the school to provide us with index cards on which to tabulate.

We would complain that we didn’t get to do any tabbing because of our race/creed/gender and/or cookie preferences.

We would arrive at the school fifteen minutes after the posted time for the first round of the day.

We would claim that we have never done this before, so how dare you expect us to do it now.

We would storm into the judges’ lounge with some students on our tail and roundly attack the first persons we run into about some grievance or other, regardless of the importance of our grievance and whether those persons give a rat’s patoot about it.  

And that’s just Scarsdale…

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