Luke, I am your father, unless you want me to judge LD, in which case I never saw you before in my life.

I don’t seem to be able to convince the Sailors to sign up for tournaments. Some of them don’t understand that that’s what we do on the weekends, as compared to hanging out at the local abattoir or whatever it is that teenagers do with their spare time these days (I find it hard to keep up). Others think that the deadline is an imaginary construct, beyond which there is no distinction from before which. As if I didn’t have to get motels, hire judges (or not), get buses, register, etc. When I tell them that parents are essential as chaperones or to cover some of the judging, they look at me like I’m speaking Swahili, or at least as if the concept of parentage is one that is not exactly familiar to them. My favorite retort is that their parent did something last year, as if that ought to cover them for all eternity plus three. Their parents gave them a birthday present last year; does that mean they don’t have to give them one ever again? My contention is that as long as the debater is in the house, the parent is responsible for various acts of support and nurture on a regular basis. And unless a student goes to one debate and quits the activity, it is hard for me to imagine why the parents think they can go to one debate and quit the activity. Have they disowned that child? Often I wouldn’t blame them, but regardless, I will go to a tournament pretty much every week this season, and cover a small number of entries as judge/tabber as a result. My bit is done. If numbers aren’t achieved or judges aren’t presented, people just won’t go to tournaments. If enough people don’t go, I won’t have to go either. Maybe I’ll work on my putting. Lord knows, my short game is no great shakes. What else am I going to do on Saturdays?

Realistically, being a parent on our team, with me in the tab room, means that you will be safe from judging anything you shouldn’t judge. I’ll usually put you in PF if I can, or else novice LD. I have control. For that matter, I try to do the same for other people’s parents as well, except for the ones who I know understand LD and who have been around for a while. Same ones week after week, usually. Some parents seem to always be around: can’t beat ‘em away with a stick. Others? Who knows.

So we got no parents for Ridge, which forced me to adjust my entry accordingly. I’ll try to line up a hired for ALJ, since people are around, but my first choices are heading for the Middle East to tell those yoyos over there a thing or two, so maybe that won’t work out either. And with Bigle X, if I stay for the RR, that means a parent has to chaperone the trip home. No big deal, sez you, but I don’t think I have one signed up yet, and the deadline is next week. Note to universe: the season is almost half over. Note to self: maybe I will start working on that short game.

On the positive side, I’ve been sleeping like a caved bear in a blizzard this week, now that Bump is over. The Tiggers are on a nice simmer. And I’ve plotted out all my debate days off for 2009. All I’ve got to worry about now is the return of HRC. (Is the Big O offering State to Hillary only because Sarah turned him down?)