Back when I was doing 4n6 Funnies, I had a working list of things overheard in the tab room. I have no reason not to present them here before they are lost to history.
"Bring us some waters. A couple of hundred. And some chips."
"You're right. We have no idea how to do prefs. Next time you tab and we'll sit in the judges' lounge all weekend eating jelly donuts."
"Give that sucker an 0-4 to judge."
"It's only round 3."
"Improvise."
"I know there's a button for that somewhere. I hope."
"My bus is going to turn into a pumpkin."
“Should we call 911?"
"The first ballot is in before the last one went out."
"Fine and replace. Then fine and fine again."
"You have. Fucked. This. Tournament."
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