In which we share our pain

Penn is shaping up as the most complicated tournament I’ve ever worked on.

First of all, there are well over a dozen buildings, many of which are only available part time, on different days. This means that I’ve had to create, in some instances, different room pools for single rounds in some divisions. A different room pool for every round, in other words. Before they toss people out (and, historically, they have tossed people out, so it’s not just empty blathering). The spreadsheet for this is mind-boggling.

Then we’re alternating all the varsity divisions in two hour slots in the same rooms on Saturday. That is, PF gets two hours, then LD and Policy get two hours, then back to PF again. That’ll be fun.

Of course, it would be helpful if every building A) didn’t have the same name, and B) was actually on the map. Or if registration didn't shift buildings at one point. 

Meanwhile:

Q. Where do we park? 

A. You know, I’ve tried parking at Penn. I recommend you walk to the tournament. 

Then there’s the dumb questions. The thing is, if you even just glanced at the headings of the two thousand emails I sent you’d have a hint about what you’re looking for. I don’t expect the dumbest clucks to actually read them—that’s how they achieved dumbcluckdom in the first place, and how they maintain their membership—but when there’s two that say THIS IS THE SCHEDULE, why wouldn’t you wonder to yourself, Hmmm, is this the schedule? Could it be? The problem with dumbcluckdom is that the members are persistent. They don’t send an email. They send multiple emails. Often they offer advice on how I could be running things better. I’m sure they’re right. I mean, just because there’s no rooms after 8 o’clock shouldn’t deter me from scheduling an 8 o’clock round. Then there was the person who was worried about the prediction for snow on Sunday; that email arrived three weeks ago. 

Then there’s all the changes. One team dropped about 20 people after the deadline and blamed me for it, because I had set a deadline. Same team originally lost all their entries back when TBAs were deleted. They made a stink then to get them back in, and another stink when they deleted them all after the deadline. They also claimed a medical emergency, I guess for all 20 people on the team. You’d think I would have read about that one in the papers. Then again, this team always has medical/compassionate emergencies. If their coach’s grandmother dies one more time, I’m going to ask to see the ashes. 

Speaking of which, one judge broke a foot and apparently the team’s coach, who merely wanted to insure that the judge wouldn’t have to walk much, wasn’t sure we’d believe her so she sent along the x-rays to prove it. That’s not a far step from sending the ashes! It does set the bar a little higher for future changes. No x-rays? No changes!

It’s going to be fun to make this tournament happen. Fortunately we’ve got top-drawer tabbers with a sense of humor. They’re all going to need it.