Tabroom.com changes released 9/28/16

— The place to put in the resolution on LD ballots has been removed because, well, no one has looked at it since 2003.

— Added option for parent PF judges to submit electronic ballots using two tin cans connected by a piece of string. Also added option for parent PF judges to click “Forgot to bring two tin cans to tournament” and/or “Forgot string.”

— Added “Galaxy Note 7” option, where tab rooms can detonate the cell phones of e-ballot judges who do not press the start button when a round starts.

— Registration data in TRPC and JOT can now be translated directly into Portuguese xml tag files and shipped directly to Lisbon.

— Bids for TOC Gold Level PF will be backchanneled to UKy as soon as the tournament ends.

— Bids for TOC Silver Level PF will be backchanneled to Stefan Bauschard as soon as the tournament ends, as he’s the only person on the planet who understands them.

— Bids for MSTOC will be helicoptered directly to the parents of the middle schoolers who earn them.

— Bids for PREKTOC will be recycled into edible gluten and baked into single-serving portions of debate ziti for the busy home cook.

— Students who enter their own registrations as Independents will be automatically put on the waitlist. Forever. And a day.

— Coaches who ask questions that have already been answered in the posted online invitation will be assigned to judge PREKTOC. Forever. And a day.

— Worlds Debate is now fully integrated into the system. Worldly Debate is pending a legality check. Offworld Debate is being merged into LD, since no one can tell the difference.

— The incredible rising popularity of Parliamentary Debate across the country and around the world and, yes, into the heavens, has been met with no changes in tabroom whatsoever, for obvious reasons. (Watch your back, Worlds Debate!)

— All error messages have been rewritten to demonstrate that the problem is you and not tabroom.com, and why are you even trying to run a tournament in the first place, you tattie howker.

— A new emergency phone number composed entirely of prime numbers has been created for situations where tabroom goes down in the middle of a tournament. Call this number any time day or night, and the phone will ring and ring and ring and ring and ring......................

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