In which we kvetch (which we've probably never done before)

We have met the enemy and he is us, as Pogo would say. In other words, Pup prefs have opened. Thousands cheer.

There are three things I can’t talk about. The first one is that X is going to Z. The second is that Y is going to Q. Those I promised to keep my mouth shut about, and you’ll hear for yourself shortly. The third is that, even though it is horrible and everyone involved should be banned for life, I will no say no more, forever. You may or may not agree on that last one, but in my opinion, well, so it goes.

There. I know you like the fact that I keep you up-to-date on everything.

I continue to be amazed at some of the shenanigans we’ve been seeing, with people creating schools or teams out of thin air. Here’s a tip, if that’s your cup of tea. Don’t register using the email of one of the teams. That’s a real beginner’s mistake. You think we’re not going to look there first? Don’t register using the email of someone we know doesn’t work at the place you’re registering. Don’t attempt to hire a hundred judges; we check every request, and if you’ve got lots of kids and no adults, we’ll probably scratch our heads a bit. Don’t register using a variant of your school’s name, and think we won’t notice. Don’t have one person register 20 different schools. The name will ring a bell, Pavlov. Don’t put in a bogus entry for one tournament and expect that we won’t remember when the next tournament comes up. For that matter, don’t pull anything unwise, period, if you want to register for other tournaments. For example, continually not showing up is an offense punishable by not being accepted in the first place. Seriously now, people. It’s the same personnel in every northeast tab room. You think we forget, or don’t talk to one another? Didn’t pay your registration to one tournament? Just try to get into another one. Judges skipped out on breaks? Farewell, my lovely.

It might come as a shock, but schools get a rep. We know who we can count on, and who we can’t count on. We know who will be pulling fast ones, because they pull fast ones every time. We know who will make ridiculous demands, and we know who will come by and offer help and extra judging and a kind word. We know who thinks we’re trying to screw them when we tab (even though, sorry, you’re not worth the effort, no matter how important you think you are), and we know who believes that we’re impartial because, well, we just don’t give a honk which team gets which judge. We know who’s new and comes asking questions and accepts the answers and learns and grows and becomes an old-time pro pretty quickly, and we know who’s arrogant and who knows way more than we do. And this is all universal. That little mafia of tabbers has been there and done that so many times, we’re inured to it. This is not to suggest that most people are asshats; this is far from true. The people I consider rapscallions and bad debate citizens are the ones who are always emailing or breaking down the door to tab. That's a relatively small number. The vast majority of good debate citizens are judging their rounds and organizing their troops and trusting us to do our best while we trust them to do their best. Win/win for those people.

I love that there’s a shenanigans function in tabroom. That is CP all over. I only wish he were able to identify even more shenanigans than he does.

Okay, I’ve got the bitter out. Now I’ll start getting ready to smile at everybody when the weekend rolls around. Oh. Good to see you. Have you lost weight? That tiara looks wonderful on you! Have you gotten a new psychotherapist? It shows, dahling.