More articles we [did not] [had to] finish reading

These headlines are all real, directly copied from our RSS feed without editing.

First, the did-nots.

• Gene Simmons producing Kiss and Hello Kitty mashup for 'My Little Pony' network
  
• Why I Study Duck Genitalia
  
• Slavoj Žižek Discusses Philosophy, Topless in Bed (And So On and So On)
  
• Bizarre Portraits Of Man Holding Dead Animals In His Mouth
  
• Half A Million's Worth Of Rhino Heads Stolen From Ireland's National Museum
  

On the other hand, a couple of articles that had to read:

• ‘Kim Jong-un's Less Responsible, Disney-Obsessed Older Brother
  
• Durex Unveils New iPhone-Controlled Vibrating Underwear For Couples
  
• Super Horrific Brazilian Thing: Tattooing Your Eyeballs Black