WTF2011: Schmucks of the Day — Jon Cruz and Jim Menick
July 14, 2011
Each day, we profile two students at the Victory Briefs Institute so you, dear reader, can learn about the debaters from across the country who have joined us here at UCLA. However, we’ve run out of debaters (although we have sent LAPD out to look for them), so today we profile instead a couple of coaches.
Name: Jon Cruz School: Bronx Scientology (Location unclear) Class: Some Coaches: Come and go like fireflies NFL Degree: Nth
How did you first get involved in debate?
On learning that there was going to be a gap of sixteen years between the classic Star Wars films and the JarJar Binks (aka the most deservedly underrated George Lukas character except for Howard the Duck), I had nothing better to do, so I signed up for forensics at my high school on Long Island.
What is your proudest achievement in debate thus far?
Turning standard debate ziti into “Foods of the World: Mediterranean.”
What are your hobbies beyond debate?
If you have to ask, you don’t want to know.
What are your main goals for WTF?
Making enough money to buy some really ridiculous Star War thing made out of Legos, or some ridiculous Lego thing made out of Michael Jackson.
What is your favorite thing about camp?
Proximity to Disneyland and Star Tours (damn you, Carpocalypse!)
Name: Jim Menick School: Montrose Naval Academy (New Yawk) Class: Less than ever after this Coaches: Not if he can help it NFL Degree: World’s Worst District Chair
How did you first get involved in debate?
I tried to get my daughter to join the chess team, the football team, ROTC, the Daughters of the American Revolution, SPECTRE, the Benedictines—but no, she had to join the debate team.
What is your proudest achievement in debate thus far?
Convincing Jon Cruz that it would be the end of his debate career if he even considered working for Bronx Science.
What are your hobbies beyond debate?
Litotes, hyperbole, sarcasm, alliteration, onomatopeia, mendacity, synecdoche, carminatives.
What are your main goals for WTF?
More fish, fewer ankle bracelets.
What is your favorite thing about camp?
When everybody dresses up like Liza Minelli and—Oh. You don’t mean that kind of camp…
2 comments:
Love it.
i thought you said there would be no posts during the summmer? and then you go and create this classic! :)
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