Things to do:

Friday

More Christmas shopping. With things being what they are, I fell way behind, which is unusual for me, as normally I’m done by the first frost.

Buy prosecco. It goes with everything, and it’s marginally festive. Trust me on this. Make bellinis for the doubters in the crowd,

Buy groceries. I’ll do most of the cooking, as always. Today I pick up the last minute items, including enough eggs to open a hen house.

Watch a movie. I can’t remember the last movie I watched. Something soothing tonight, but I’m not sure what.

Saturday

Clean the house. While Liz is recuperating, I have to do all the heavy lifting by myself. If I were her, I’d stretch this recuperating business as long as possible.

Start cooking. The more I can do early, the better. I should be able to knock off a few eggplants, for instance (no relation to the eggs, mentioned above).

Go to the Big Apple circus. I’ll see you there if you’re at tomorrow’s 4:30 show. Go, Grandma!

Go out to dinner. We’re thinking ribs, which are very holiday-ish, somewhere, I’m sure. Hush puppies. Dark southern beer. Hmmmm.

Sunday

Christmas eve breakfast. This is a new wrinkle, as the rels will already be installed on various cots, couches and beds of nails around the house and will need nourishment.

Cooking. Mostly final prep for D-Day. Soak a bean or two, study the menu closely and prrioritize, that sort of thing.

Go out to traditional Christmas Eve movie. We’re thinking Happy Feet as the perfect crowd pleaser, as it has tap dancing and penguins and high praise from all and sundry critics.

Baking. This is different from cooking. There’s nothing like the scent of chocolate wafting through the house after a traditional Christmas Eve movie.

Traditional Christmas Eve dinner. Which, curiously enough, is all new this year, because my cousin who’s staying with us doesn’t eat nuts. Her father used to live on nuts. Who knew? Think beet carpaccio, scampi, risotto with squash. Nice.

Monday

Presents, cooking, eating, presents, cooking, eating, digesting, traditional Christmas movie at the chez home theater (last year it was Shaun of the Dead, which has gone down in family history as the best Christmas movie ever), eating. This no doubt is what the entire VCA will be doing Monday. Deck us all with Boston Charlie.

And so, Merry Christmas to all—as Bill O’Reilly would insist on our saying—and to all a good night. I’ll see you on Tuesday or Wednesday. (Given that last night I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and stumbled into the living room where Pip TW and I read a piece on postmodern dance by the light of the Christmas tree before re-retiring, I’m sure I’ll have something to say when the time comes.)