The Red Blues (with apologies to Cole Porter)

(Then again, “Red Blues” wasn’t exactly CP’s finest moment, so maybe he should be apologizing to us. And we won’t even mention Fred dancing “The Ritz Rock and Roll.”)

We got the word yesterday from Ripon that we are officially a Red Light District. There is a whole bunch of numbers and degrees and bologna in the message, but it boils down to either we sign up all sorts of new suckers or kiss the New York State District goodbye. Although actually, it was worse. It read as if, although eventually we would indeed kiss the New York State District goodbye, first we’d be punished by being forced to run a limited district tournament with only one qualifier in each category, a torture I think they picked up by using a GW Bush interpretation of the Geneva Convention.

Thanks a lot, Ripon. Now I know where my $100 a year goes.

If you’re not a New Yorker (and I know that a substantial portion of the VCA is, indeed, of that unfortunate non-NY persuasion), you may not understand how tangential the NFL is to our forensic life. We operate no tournaments (other than districts) under the NFL aegis because we have two active leagues (the Mid-Hudson League and the NYCFL) that conduct contests on literally every weekend during the year (with the exception, in the case of debate, of when there are invitationals in the region). And because NY conducts mandatory Regents exams, and pretty much everyone graduates the third weekend in June, attending NatNats is a dicey business at best, because it is well nigh impossible to get out of Regents, and most parents like to see their kids graduate, not to mention the fact that it is as difficult for many teachers to get away during finals as it is for students; Dave, the Rear Admiral of the Sailors Speecho-Americans, was unable to go with our qualifiers last year for just that reason, which meant I had to enlist the kindness of strangers, yadda*3, you know the drill. So even under the best of circumstances, NatNats is never, well, under the best of circumstances for us, plus we get no other benefits during the year from NFL, so when you add it all up, what we have is a point system with some nice stickers (and, honestly, I could set up my own point system in Excel and give crappy prizes at the milestones, and it would be just as meaningful). I’m not knocking the NFL for schools that are actively interested in their membership, or who strive to attend NatNats, or who look to the organization for leadership (which it does provide). I’m just saying that, is this really what I specifically need for my specific team? Lying awake staring at the ceiling last night, I found it hard to come up with a yes answer.

It’s not that I mind running the district tournament. I’ve gotten the hang of it and it does fill up the empty hours, such as they are, but then again, it’s not the most fun of the tournaments of the year, especially since I know that my entry, even if they qualify, is unlikely to go. Last year Ewok dropped out within 24 hours. The amount of money it was going to take eventually kyboshed Hush and Emcee. And that money thing continues to haunt me because, if I get no real benefits from the NFL, why am I spending team money at a time when we our school district is operating on a contingency budget? I have to ask, what would happen if we removed ourselves from the league? Would the students miss it? It’s hard for me to think that they would.

So, I’m torn. I want to do my bit as part of the local gentry, and I want to support our teams friends in the district. But at the same time, if it went away, I wouldn’t miss it, because honestly, I’m not in a position to take advantage of it. And until I navigate the Sailors across the Hudson and down the valley and into New Jersey, the situation isn’t going to change.

Rough seas ahead, the way I see it.