Are there really 380 VLD entries at Harvard? At $120 a pop? Maybe it’s 280. That would allow almost half the 4-2s to break. 380 will allow about a dozen of them. I find this absolutely amazing, whichever is the accurate number.
Top Ten Reasons for Attending Harvard Tournament
10. Your school needs to launder funds from overaggressive Mothers For Forensics Cupcake Sale.
9. You want to go to a place where everyone in the bubble rounds is undefeated.
8. Google lists the Cringing Latin School as one of the top wonders of the modern world.
7. Your parents want you to attend Harvard University, and they think your attending the tournament makes you a cinch for acceptance.
6. Your parents want to get rid of you so that they can go whoop it up for a weekend and surprise you next Thanksgiving with a new little brother or sister.
5. You’ve never been to a tournament where the attendance at the awards ceremony is slightly larger than at the Superbowl.
4. You’ve heard that the entire Harvard University Debate Team wears leather pants, and you want to verify this in person.
3. You’re wondering which is longer, the lines for Space Mountain at Walt Disney World on Presidents’ Weekend, or the lines for cold pizza at Cringing Latin School.
2. You want to see what judge they assign you in the 0-5 round.
1. Your team is huge, and there’s only one coach, and most of the time he or she won’t know where you are for the weekend, so whoop-dee-damned-do (in the immortal words of Clarence Thomas on learning that his appointment to the Supreme Court had been confirmed), you are going to break out and boogie and get down and generally wreak all the havoc you can while you’re still young, because what else is the point, anyhow.
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