MVP: [Smiles] So, champ, tell us about yourself.
VS: There’s not much to say.
MVP: [Snorts] How did you get into declamation?
VS: Well, it was easier than the other IEs because you didn’t have to cut a piece. I just stole mine from my coach’s cousin.
MVP: [Gasps] What pieces did you do?
VS: Just the one. “I’ll Murder Your Children if You Don’t Rank Me a One.”
MVP: [Chortles] You were pretty much a picket-fence performer from the get-go.
VS: Sure. If they wanted their children to live past the weekend.
MVP: [Trips on mop] Did you do anything other than declamation?
VS: Dec was my life, dude.
MVP: [Inadvertently logs off server, crashes, reboots and trims fingernails] You never wanted to expand into, say, JV interp?
VS: Are you calling me a wimp? Nobody calls me a wimp.
MVP: [Lifts eyebrows in classic fear reaction and ducks under table] You’re only able to do declamation for two years in the CFL. What happened after that?
VS: I dropped out of school. I mean, life was pretty much over. I got a job at IBM designing medical software.
MVP: [Scratching like baseball pitcher] That sounds awfully difficult.
VS: Not for a declaimer. Besides, the only other people applying for the job were women, and you know what that Harvard guy says about them.
MVP: [Mentally sorting Critical Feminist responses] Are you still at IBM?
VS: I’m on sabbatical until the lawsuit comes to court.
MVP: [Chewing cud] Can we see your crib?
(And no, I had nothing to do with this. Address your comments to the Nostrumite. Spend two hours with the guy and he wants to co-opt your blog! Then again, it's a slow debate week.)
1 comment:
[chortles]
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